"Oh, you two work together too?" We get this ALL the time. In fact, I'd venture to say that after getting asked what we do - the next most often asked question is, "How do you survive working and living together?"
Well, I'm going to just come out and say it right here at the beginning of this post, it's hard work. But through trial and error, I'd say we're pretty well on track now. Are we perfect? Absolutely not. Some days are better than others. Some days he's ornery and some days I'm stubborn. Okay, I'm always stubborn. Some days I find myself daydreaming about working in a fancy high rise building in Manhattan with dozens of co-workers and then there are other days where I can't imagine working beside anyone else. But through all of it, I'm thankful we have the opportunity, and patience, to work alongside one another.
If you and your spouse are currently thinking about stepping off the ledge and working together, here are some secrets to working with your spouse that we've discovered through trial and error so hopefully, you don't have to.
No one likes a nag. If you trust your spouse enough to 1. marry them and 2. go into business together, then you have to trust that they will get the job done. Constantly asking for updates, giving unsolicited advice, and second-guessing will only cause resentment and slow progress.
Assigning specific roles within your business will allow for each of you to "own" your duties. When each person knows their responsibilities, you can stop wasting time through duplicated effort because of confusion.
You can also stop wasting energy on checking in with your spouse, which is easy to do when you're in a holding pattern, frustrated over workloads, or just stressed out about how things are progressing. Not that I have any experience with this or anything, but it's always easier to nag your partner than face the real issue(s). It's a habit that can doom your business and maybe even your relationship if it's left unchecked. The key is to know your role(s) and stick with it.
This may sound insignificant but setting up your workspace so that you both have a place to call your own, makes a huge difference in the success of working together.
By design, we have an office that is "a tiny hole in the wall" type of office. We wanted a place that wasn't in our home and that didn't have a window so that when we're there, it's work time. Our desks face opposite walls and we have great headphones.
Always assume your spouse has good intentions and work from there. Mistakes will happen and you will deal with them, but remember who you are coming home to at the end of the day.
Imagine screaming at a corporate co-worker that she's always trying to sabotage you because she forgot to tell you about a meeting. Or rolling your eyes in the office telling a colleague that you have to do everything around here. If you can't imagine treating former colleagues that way, don't even think about doing it to the business partner you love.
When you're 50/50 partners in business and life, it can sometimes be hard to tell the other person what to do or to call each other out when something goes wrong. You need to manage your workload, clients, and business development without sacrificing your romantic partnership. A third party is a great way to keep everyone on track.
We have a shared Google Calendar that literally runs our life. If it doesn't make it into that calendar, chances are it ain't going to happen. We also have a project management system where we can keep track of leads, estimates, client files, and check on a project's status. We rely on other third-party software for things like billing and contracts.
We've found it to be easier to have assignments come through as a task on our own computers instead of a verbal request from your spouse, and when we're both busy, things can accidentally fall through the cracks. With our online systems helping us manage our business, we have avoided a lot of forgetfulness and fighting.
When you live and work together it can be easy to let work take over your life. And in the beginning, it might even be necessary. But over time it's important to flip off the open sign and enjoy your personal life.
Give yourself mandatory days off and a mutual "quitting time" so you can enjoy meals and activities together. See your friends, get outside, and say yes to doing things apart. It can be really easy to work all day and night and forgo a social life, healthy food, exercise, and even sex when you're in work mode; especially if you don't have kids yet. Make time for home life. Disconnect from work apps, turn off email notifications, and silence work calls after work hours. We have also gotten pretty strict about even looking at work emails when we're on home time. Because the work will always be there but you can't always get the special moments with your partner back.
Make sure you both have a sense of humor.
Agree to disagree sometimes.
Don't take it personally if the other person needs to take a walk, get lunch, or really do anything with you. Alone time is crucial.
